He Keeps Messing with my Ducks!!

I truly am a thankful person. I should be thankful for we are a blessed family. I live in a nice house with a fenced-in yard and central air conditioning. We have two working vehicles. We have a dishwasher, a fridge full of food and clothes to wear every day. Compared to many people in this old world, my family lives a life of luxury and I know it full well.

Living smack dab in the middle of North American culture, however, can sometimes make it easy to forget about my blessings. I don't always feel as rich as I am! Does anyone know what I mean? My nice house always seems to need an update and the "working" vehicles just recently hit their double digit birthdays. The dishwasher leaves crumbs and crud in the glasses and I've noticed that our clothes are starting to look a little long in the tooth again lately.

Our family, like so many others, lives on a fluctuating income - Dad does sales and marketing and Mom is a career substitute teacher. We both love our jobs and are thrilled with the family time we're able to pull off. If you've ever worked for commission, however, you understand how challenging this lifestyle can sometimes become.

Especially if you're a ducky girl like I am. I like my ducks in a row. Always have and probably always will. Seventeen years with a free-spirited, entrepreneurial husband have rubbed off my sharp corners a little bit, but most often I'm still arranging those ducks .... just ...... so. I like to research, plan, make lists and organize stuff. That's just who I am.

Yes, it's been an interesting journey, this life I'm living. Most of the time I'm really fine - and why wouldn't I be? Like I said, I've got it good and I know it. But every once in a while, when the commissions haven't come in quite on time for the next pay and we're already playing catch-up from that last time when what's-his-face didn't open the invoice when it came in (or whatever!), I get a little tired. A little tired of having to be careful. Of having to say "No" again to something that the kids want to do or buy or attend. Is it always like that? Not at all. But it is sometimes and those are the times I long to get my ducks back in a row.

So I found it interesting in my morning Bible reading as I read the story of God's people wandering around in the desert. He had just finished rescuing them (in a most dramatic and miraculous way) from their slavery in Egypt and was now getting them organized for their trip to their very own homeland! There were a lot of them, though, and they were going to need food for their travels. God provided a rather unique solution to this problem by sending down "manna" from heaven - little white flakes of bread for them to gather from the ground every morning. Cool. God just gave them one stipulation: Only gather enough manna for one day's use. "Gasp!" said all the Israelite duck arrangers (there had to be a few in a crowd that big). If they even tried to save a litle bit of one day's manna for the next day's meal plan, it would be filled with MAGGOTS by the morning.

Why? Why wouldn't God just let them store some up and plan for the future? Surely He wanted them to be industrious and efficient! Surely He wants all of us to be that way! Yes, I think He does ... sometimes. But at the bottom of my Bible page I found an intriguing note from the editors. It read like this:

We instinctively resist a style of life in which it is necessary to depend on God each day to supply our needs. We wish to have supplies in advance so that we can feel independent. God was training the people for a life of faith.

Slam. Right between the eyes for Stephanie Biffany. It's what I needed to hear that day and it's what I've been reminding myself of ever since. God values my faith more than my efficiency or industriousness. He's more interested in walking each day with me and building my dependence on Him than He is in all my attempts at self-sufficiency. If that means He has to mess with my ducks, then He's going to knock them out of line every once in a while. And you know what? I think I'm okay with that. I've known Him for most of my life and He's never let me down. If He says that dependence on Him is more important than my own independence, then I choose to believe Him. He is awesome. He is everything good and perfect and I know I can trust Him. And so can you.

I'm not saying I'll never put my ducks in a row again. I'll just try not to complain when I see His hand reach down to move them around a little.