Family Circus

Shall I tell you about my morning? Yes, I believe I shall.

9:00 - Call Donna, the grade one teacher I am subbing for next week, to ask if I can come to her house earlier than our originally scheduled meeting of 10:00, since my mom is watching Ben and needs me back by 11:30 (sharp) because she and Dad have a lunch date. Donna is not home and does not call me back.

9:35 - Tell Ben to put his shoes on so I can take him to Oma and Opa's house while I am meeting with Teacher Donna from 10:00 to 11:30 (sharp).

9:36 - Ben and Toby (terrier) are waiting for me in the van. Go to get my keys off the rack only to discover they are nowhere to be found.

9:37 - Search purse. Serious lack of keys.

9:38 - Grab spare van key off of rack and head outside, locking all house doors behind me.

9:39 - Slide spare key into van ignition, turn key. Serious lack of motor starting noises.

9:40 - Decide to look for a "better" spare key in the house. Realize all doors are locked.

9:41 - Congratulate self on remembering that there's an extra house key hidden in the garage.

9:42 - Reach into "secret spot" in the garage. Serious lack of keys.

9:43 - Knock timidly on Billy and Joan's front door (wonderful neighbours). Joan answers in her housecoat and freshly washed hair. Feel terrible.

9:44 - Explain predicament to Joan. Much sympathy from wonderful neighbour who then offers her phone to call my Mom.

9:45 - Call Mom and fill her in. "Can you come over here?" Of course - she'll be right over. Wonderful parents. Go back to driveway to hang out with Ben and Toby.

9:50 - Joan (still looking great in housecoat) comes out on her front porch holding the phone for me. It's Mom. Can't find the keys to their truck - Dad has the car somewhere. "Ok - I'll cancel with Donna. Ben and I will walk over to your house."

9:52 - Call Teacher Donna (still on Joan's phone - she's gone in to do her hair) to fill her in on the fiasco. Wonderful person - very understanding. We will meet tomorrow instead.

9:55 - Ben and I decide to bike instead of walk to Mom's.

10:04 - Pull into Mom and Dad's driveway. Back door is locked. Ring doorbell. Serious lack of Mother. See Charlie (terrier) in the house, so we know Mom isn't out walking anywhere.

10:06 - Panic at the thought that maybe Mom is passed out on the floor somewhere in the house. Calling through open window.

10:07 - Congratulate self on remembering that there's an extra house key hidden in the garage. Theirs is actually where it's supposed to be, too.

10:08 - Now in Mom's kitchen with Ben and Charlie. Call Mom on her cell phone. "Where are you?" "I'm standing here talking to Billy and Joan!"

10:09 - Laugh at the fact that Mom didn't hear me tell her that we were walking to her house. Laugh harder to hear that she biked to our house while we biked to her house. Almost pee my pants that she decided to take a totally new and different route today so our paths didn't cross. "Wait there at my place - I'll bike back home," she says.

10:13 - Wonder how Mom liked Joan's housecoat.

10:14 - Read one of Dad's birdwatching books with Ben. Learn the difference between a trumpeter swan and a mute swan - it's all in the neck. Discover that an immature bald eagle has a brown head, not white.

10:25 - Mom walks in the back door. We laugh and laugh. Many explanations.

10:26 - Mom reaches up to her key rack to show me all the spare keys she used to try to get into the truck.

10:27 - Find my set of keys hanging on Mom's key rack.

10:30 - Dad comes home and has to listen to the whole story. Wonderful listener - he laughs so hard he almost cries.

11:25 (sharp) - Leave with Ben to bike home.

11:37 - Ben decides to watch his feet as they pedal the last few metres of the trip home.

11:37 - Ben runs into a parked car right before we get to Billy and Joan's driveway. He laughs, but then he mostly cries.

11:40 - Ice Ben's hand. He is sad that it is his right hand, which will seriously impede his baseball playing today.

11:41 - Call John at work to tell him the story. Maybe this is why he feels he lives on the set of "I Love Lucy."

A Bird Pooped on my Bible

One of my favourite things about summer vacation is sitting outside in the morning on our back deck and reading my Bible and praying. It's so peaceful and fresh and quiet out there.

One of my least favourite things about summer vacation is the birds that eat mulberries and then come to roost in the maple tree beside our deck and drop their purple poops on whatever happens to be sitting below them. The other day it happened to be my Bible. Romans 5, to be exact.